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"My Sort-Of Least Favourite Things" (to the tune from "The Sound of Music") Senile dementia and pull string pyjamas Nice cups of warm milk and mashed up bananas Clear plastic catheters stuck up your thing ….A few of the benefits old age can bring! False teeth and hip joints just like the Queen Mother Arthritis in one hand and stick in the other Twenty five minutes to put on your shoes Then being told that you've left off your trews! (Chorus #1) When the bag bursts when a pee stings when your eyesight's bad Just try and remember what "Alzheimers" is And what medicine you've had Dark yellow urine and bad constipation Feeling at home sitting in the bus station Sensible pants that pull up to your chest Changing them monthly at Tina's request Strange people smiling and getting your cheek kissed Having your name on the "Watership Down" list Let's hope these days are far, far away, Try to relax and just have a nice day (Chorus #2) Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Only forty-four! Another year gone and you're still hanging on BEST WISHES FOR MANY MORE!!! |