Never get stuck behind the devil in a post office queue.For the devil can take many forms.
I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, "Survey crew ahead."I did.They looked okay.
So what if I can't spell armaggedon?It's not the end of the world.
I got chased by a mugger the other day trying to steal my wallet.Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "He's giving me a good run for my money."
I was tripping on some mushrooms today when I thought, "Don't they have cleaners in ASDA?"
I saw a sign in a car park saying "thieves want your sat nav!"I thought, "well they can get lost..."
I'm very familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.I don't know why.
I saw a slide with an 85 degree incline for sale the other day for £1000.I thought "That's a bit steep."
Me and my mate have just been fighting over which is the best vowel.I won.
A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering unlimited drinks all night for just under 20 quid...So tonight I'm gonna party like it's £19.99...
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