If anyone is thinking about buying an auto-biography, I don't want to ruin the ending for you but they write a book.
My wife accused me of being self-important.I nearly fell off my throne.
Nice song - great animation.
Amazingly inventive cartoon strips...
Never get stuck behind the devil in a post office queue.For the devil can take many forms.
I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, "Survey crew ahead."I did.They looked okay.
So what if I can't spell armaggedon?It's not the end of the world.
I got chased by a mugger the other day trying to steal my wallet.Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "He's giving me a good run for my money."
I was tripping on some mushrooms today when I thought, "Don't they have cleaners in ASDA?"
I saw a sign in a car park saying "thieves want your sat nav!"I thought, "well they can get lost..."
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