If anyone is thinking

If anyone is thinking about buying an auto-biography, I don't want to ruin the ending for you but they write a book.

My wife accused me

My wife accused me of being self-important.
I nearly fell off my throne.

The Spinto Band - Muesli

Nice song - great animation.

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Amazingly inventive cartoon strips...

Never get stuck behind

Never get stuck behind the devil in a post office queue.
For the devil can take many forms.

I saw a sign on the road

I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, "Survey crew ahead."
I did.
They looked okay.

So what if I can't spell

So what if I can't spell armaggedon?
It's not the end of the world.

I got chased by a mugger

I got chased by a mugger the other day trying to steal my wallet.
Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "He's giving me a good run for my money."

I was tripping on some

I was tripping on some mushrooms today when I thought, "Don't they have cleaners in ASDA?"

I saw a sign in a car

I saw a sign in a car park saying "thieves want your sat nav!"
I thought, "well they can get lost..."

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