My teacher used to say

My teacher used to say I wasn't very observant ...
...to be honest, that was his/her opinion.

Some people say i'm too vague.

Some people say i'm too vague.
But you know the famous saying...

If anyone is thinking

If anyone is thinking about buying an auto-biography, I don't want to ruin the ending for you but they write a book.

My wife accused me

My wife accused me of being self-important.
I nearly fell off my throne.

The Spinto Band - Muesli

Nice song - great animation.

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Amazingly inventive cartoon strips...

Never get stuck behind

Never get stuck behind the devil in a post office queue.
For the devil can take many forms.

I saw a sign on the road

I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, "Survey crew ahead."
I did.
They looked okay.

So what if I can't spell

So what if I can't spell armaggedon?
It's not the end of the world.

I got chased by a mugger

I got chased by a mugger the other day trying to steal my wallet.
Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "He's giving me a good run for my money."

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